Written on the happy occasion of Nicola Sturgeon's resignation as Scottish First Minister, this poem recognises that dividers and dishonest leaders come in all shapes and forms. This petite, female, left-wing, woke-ish, pro-indepedence Scot is as worthy of condemnation for her infection of the public discourse as the womanising, immoral, serially-lying, loudmouth right-wingers ever-present in this unfortunate era . Oh joy! A line of political happiness in a newspaper of nightmares. "What a brave leader!" they say. "What a brave women!" they correct. Oh how she stood up for her beliefs, her liberal vision, her lovely, cuddly, Scotland of angel-like kindness! What balderdash! What dishonesty! Lovely, cuddly division lasting year after year after year. Setting one man against his neighbour on the altar of a star-crossed flag. A nationalist. A divisive, unyielding, ruthless nationalist wrapped up in the clothes of a left-wing feminist, masquerading as the social-democratic Messiah. Successful. Yes. In secular terms successful; but she will get her 3 paragraphs worth of contempt in the 20th Century Book of Kings. For how did she attain such hegemony? Such electoral success? Never faltering in the baying lion's den of public opinion. Because she took a united country, the heir to Alexander Graham Bell and Adam Smith, and cut it; right down the centre of its heart. She did as all nationalists do the world over; eternal electoral success through tribal loyalty to a fool's crusade. She could destroy her country's health service and its once world-beating schools; and no punishment would result at the ballot box. She could centralise the police in her hands; slave-own an already pliant Parliament where compliant members dutifully clap the Dear Leader without recourse to checks-and -balances. Hold her to account? Never! The role of the newspaper in this banana republic was to kneel. And Brexit? Perhaps she was right like London, Reading, Tunbridge Wells, and other leave-less entities. But only in the logic-deprived brain of this "genius" was the following conclusion so readily made: That to take the United Kingdom out of a semi-connected, decades-long union was an economic disaster; but to take Scotland out of a three century-long, British computer matrix would be economic utopia! What logic. What an Einstein we are now being deprived of. But I forget.... She wasn't a nationalist. She was "left-wing". She was a feminist. And most-importantly she was a women. So I retract my criticism, bend the knee, lower the head and acknowledge her sainthood. Nicola, Queen of division, I salute you. Dear reader. Please, please join the correct side in the war against truth. Not the left-wing. Not the right-wing. But the honest, unifying wing. I hope that you are willing to become a paid subscriber.
